Ultrasounds...

So at the beginning of my pregnancy I asked the doctor to not do an u/s (ultrasound) because I only wanted the one at 20 weeks.  Well, since then I have had to have a few more then planed.  About a month ago we had our first u/s!  and NO WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE HAVING!  I talked Ryan into not finding out the last minute.  Thought the doc gave us a sealed envelope with a certain picture on it...and yes, I have it hidden and Ryan doesn't know where it is :)!  Well, the u/s tech was taking forever and said that he couldn't get a couple of veiws because the baby wasn't cooperating.  I didn't think anything of it (which I should have known better) so he went to get the perinatologist.  I ate some jelly beans and the baby started moving and she started looking at the heart...again.  So then I started to worry, I had the tech check everything that I was worried about like the baby has a brain, there were two kidneys, arms and legs, a beating heart...the usual.  So then I was informed that it "looked like the baby has a hole in the heart, and I'm not seeing the vessels cross...so how bout another u/s tomorrow with a pediatric cardiologist?" "Sure, why not"...I mean what could I say?

So, Ryan canceled a trip for work and the next day we had another hour long u/s and this is what out little baby has:

Tetralogy of Fallot (here's a general pic)

So this is generally what it is but this first u/s showed that we only had on of the pulmonary arteries (the blue branching "T" shaped thing)to the right lung and not to the left(so instead of a "T" an upsidedown "L").  Also the pul. valve and arteries are half the size they are supposed to be, and the hole(ventricular septal defect) is supposedly "fairly large".  So we were obviously thrilled :~( and I vow never to go to the doctor in Oct. again because it seems to be cursed for us!  But after some prayers and fasting we felt okay about it.  

SO...

We went back this past friday for the next installment of our little one's heart.  And GOOD NEWS!  well, I think it is!  Yes, the baby still has tetralogy but they think they saw the other pulmonary artery (so a "T" instead of "L").  Also, even though the arteries are still half the size they are supposed to be...they are still half the size--which means that they grew with the heart and there is still bloodflow through them with is KEY--as long as the blood flows then that should stimulate them to keep growing with the heart!! 

SO...

What this all means is that this baby is doing fine while he/she is in me.  When the baby is born is when they need the blood flow to the lungs (the pulmonary arteries are how the blood gets from the heart to the lungs, getting oxygen for the rest of the body...so kind of important) so that the baby can breath and receive the o2 that they will need.  So it all depends on how the baby does at birth.  The baby will need open heart surgery but when and how many will all depend on the baby, when they are born and how the surgery(ies) go.  

SO...

I guess we'll keep hoping it gets better and that I can cook this baby as long as I can!  

Hope everyone has a HAPPY THANKSGIVING THIS WEEK!!!!

Life is so short...

So not wanting to be depressing or anything I just wanted to share something.  A good friend of ours passed away this week.  She was Ryan's dad's receptionist as his dental office for the last 11 years and when I worked for his dad that year after Kennedy passed away she became a good friend who helped me a lot.  Anyway, she went to the doctor this summer becasue she was feeling so tired, diagnosed with cancer, given 2-5 months to live two weeks ago and was gone in a week.  

She was a wonderful person and I know where she is but it really makes you remember...  We really need to make the most of what we have.  The time that we have, the spills that we clean up, the noses that we wipe, the touch that we feel, the sticky fingers around our necks, the smells of yummy food cooking and the diapers that we change (well, maybe i won't miss THAT too much), the first sounds a baby makes or the first time they say "wuv you mommy", and even that rare moment that we actually get to spend alone with our husbands.  Make the most of tomorrow because you'll never have it again!  

YES ON PROP 8 and Halloween

I hope everyone was able to vote today!!  I was so excited to vote for PROPOSITION 8 finally.  I have been making calls for the ward and talked to some yeses, answering machines, hanging up on me, refusing to answer because it's "personal" (who knew?), and some more answering machines.  So we are all really praying that it will pass...again!   When I went to vote there were a couple people standing outside with a "Vote No on Prop 8:  it's unfair" sign and the guy asked me if I was voting "no".  I told him I was voting yes (and I almost said "what do you think--here I am a pregnant woman with a 2 year old?) but I was nice and said that I am voting yes and I am not taking any rights away that they already had and he just shrugged his shoulders.  To bad I didn't have my yes signs handy!!  

So here we are at the ward trunk-o-treating at the church--Harrison has been in love with sharks this year...well intreged/afraid/always talking about them so a Shark he is (and for those of you who don't know a shark sound is made like this--"hhhaarrrrrrrr" kind of a growl thing as he pretends to eat you!)  And yes the lame costume next to him is my "ocean costume" that I decided to make that afternoon!  I was fun putting on the sea creature foam stickers though!

there is the tail and fin but he won't put on the hood with has all the teeth so he looks like a deformed dino but what do you do??

a shy shark when a person is there...


But if there is candy with no person he decided it was far game and grabbed as much as he could!
Everyone  has cute tummy shots and  I always forget so finally here is my 21 week belly!

Locks of Love...

So It was finally time...I started growing out my hair when Kennedy passed away and for her birthday this year I thought it was time to finally give it away. So personally, this is not the haircut and color that I wanted, I wanted it shorter and to donate a little more but what do you do when they cut your hair they way they like it?? It was extremely difficult to find a place that was LESS THAN $200 for a cut and color so I guess I get what I paid for...(well, not really, it's San Francisco right? And I don't pay less than $6.99 for a lb of chicken so what do you do??).






So 12.5 inches is good enough huh? (I actually cut 4 in. off this summer before the wedding) I hope they send me back a pic if possible. Btw, thanks a ton for all congrats !! And no, I haven't gotten any think back yet from the company...but cross your fingers...I guess you never know (I'm still fighting with them!) Oh, and my due date is March 14ish

The top 10 reasons why I still have a ton of boxes... (and some more summer pics)

1.  I just packed all these boxes!  Too make all that work worth it they are going to stay boxes for a while!

2.  We waited a couple days for our driver to get here with all our stuff.  He gets here and says, "Well, here's the first half of your things."  WHAT???!!!!  "Um, sir, where is the OTHER HALF OF OUR THING??"  "Oh, they didn't tell you?"  "NO!"  "Well it wouldn't all fit in my truck so the rest of your things are still in Texas, waiting for the other truck to fill and then it will get here."  "Excuse me, Can I have a word with your manager? Do you mind calling him RIGHT NOW!!"  

3.  My mom flew out to help me unpack but since our WONDERFUL moving company still has HALF our things in Texas we pretty much get some kitchen boxes done and can't do anything more...since we had the bottom half of our table and not the top, the box spring but not the mattress, the crib mattress but not the crib, the bottom of the desk but not the top...SO PRETTY MUCH EVERY USELESS THING WE OWN---AND JUST HALF OF IT...great huh?

4.  I call the dispatcher for the third time "So, Micheal, when do you think our truck will be here now?"  "Oh, it just left, it will definitely be here before the weekend"  "oh....well, it better be because our contract said it by Monday, so if not it will be a breach of contract right?!"  "uh, right."  The weekend comes around and what do you know, NO TRUCK.  Monday morning, "So Micheal, our truck isn't here.  It's monday."  "Oh, yeah, you know that truck broke down and I luckily switched your stuff to another truck that just left. Great huh!"  "Right...So Micheal you realize that this is a breach of contract don't you?"  "Oh well, the other truck broke down....mumble mumble..."  "OKAY MICHEAL, I AM NOT HAPPY!!  WHERE IS MY STUFF RIGHT NOW AND WHAT NUMBER CAN MY LAWYER CALL!!?"  "Oh well, I think it will leave tomorrow hopefully and get there this weekend."  "OH REALLY, YOU JUST SAID IT JUST LEFT AND DO YOU MEAN THIS WEEKEND JUST LIKE YOU SAID LAST WEEKEND!!!"  "There is nothing more I can do for you ma'am, sorry."  I yelled for a few more minutes and then hung up, I really don't like them...

5.  Sunday night our stuff finally makes it there (two weeks late).  Yeah!  Except what do you know, so many things are broken and the driver gets all the stuff in and says he's done and I ask, "so where is our TV?" "um..." "where is the top to our desk?"  "umm..."  "WHERE OUR LIKE 10 BOXES THAT I DON'T HAVE NUMBERS FOR???" "um..."  really can he say anything else??  Nope. we are still missing so many things, sigh, I'm sick of yelling at people, really I like to be a nice person, but they are making it impossible!

6.  I DO have a toddler at home.

7.  I have to kill all the previous occupants (namely the ants that our hanging stubbornly around).

8.  I'M REALLY REALLY TIRED because...

9.  I'M SICK because....

10.  YEP... Because I'M PREGNANT!  Yes, we certainly ALWAYS choose the most opportune times (a bit sarcastic because no, I have never yet been able to choose a time when I get pregnant!).  BUT  don't get me wrong we are TOTALLY excited!  I just wasn't planning on being a bump on a pickle when I was supposed to be unpacking so...basically I just didn't!  They weren't going anywhere right?  Well, neither was I!  Well, i am actually now 17 weeks and I feel SO much better so guess what I am doing?!!  I'M FINALLY UNPACKING!!  




Ocean's eleven (the early years...)

Shawn's second reception in Utah.
A very fun and relaxing balloon ride with my family.  It was beautiful!

Happy 5th Birthday Kennedy!

September 26, 2008, Happy 5 year old birthday!

Here are some pics from this summer:
Harrison's 2nd Birthday...


Harrison's first Haircut (was definitely not thrilled to be there!)
Shawn's wedding!! Aren't they so cute??!!



My parents and them
So Happy!
My brothers and Ryan
Alpine slide, Park City, Utah

Harrison is still taking about the Boat and Fast!!
Yes, this is Kennedy's brother...poor cat, just won't get a break!
Harrison's 2nd birthday (take 2--with G and G Dickey)
4th of July, Park city

Harrison loves bikes!
Boating again!

We got back from our last trip so I will get the rest of the pics up and let you know what else we've been up to!! Hope all is well with everyone!

First Half of my Summer

So I think I will just say in a nutshell what I have been doing. Then when I find my thing to down load pics I will put them up (it has got to be in ONE of these boxes!)….

******Mid June—left for Maryland. My little bro. Shawn was getting married!! Finally!! Well, I have five brothers and I have wanted a sister for 29 years now so it was about time you know?!! I went to help my Mom a little with things that needed to be done the week before and then the wedding and reception went really well! I totally love Janna and they both were so happy! I will be so fun to have another girl in the house and maybe even some cousins for Harrison someday…☺. I stayed for a few extra days, of course getting a bad cold after everything and then…

******End of June –flew to Utah. Ryan’s family all flew out and we all stayed in Park City for the July 4th week. We boated (water-skied and tubed) at Jordanelle reservoir, went and road all the rides one day, went shopping at the outlets and hung out watching movies. It was fun and relaxing.

******I then was going to fly right back to TX to finish packing but my Mom made me an offer that I couldn’t refuse. So I asked if Ryan’s parents could watch Harrison for a day and then my mom would fly out early to Utah (they were all flying out for Shawn’s Utah reception mid July) and watch Harrison for two more days. This way I could go to pack without the wonderful help of a 2 yr old, and fly back for the reception in Utah, so…

******I flew down to Texas on a Monday, packed all day/all night (except 2 hours I did lay down from exhaustion!) And was ALMOST ready when the packers came at 9am. They weren’t supposed to be till between 10 and 2 and I REALLY needed that extra time—but of course when you need them late, they are early. So They started taking things apart and carrying them downstairs while I though all the rest in boxes and they help tape them up. Luckily I saved the cloths for last so I just had to literally throw them in! They finished early afternoon and I pretty much fell and laid on the stairs for 45 minutes trying to get enough energy to go get something to eat (since it had been the day before that I had last eaten!!) But I just sat there. Finally, I found some chips and salsa that I was going to bring to my brother and sister in laws that night and finished them off—great nutrition huh??!!

Anyway, I tried to start cleaning (in between some naps on the floor) got through the oven, microwave, some windows and all the trash when I literally couldn’t lift my arms anymore so I gave up. Cynthia, my sister in law, offered to help me clean the next day, and I couldn’t have been more thankful! (Her and Travis—Ryan’s brother, had already helped me pack up some of our things—which was a HUGE lifesaver since Ryan was already working in San Fran! Thanks Trav and Cynthia—I couldn’t have done it without you!!---One side note—Last summer when I did the same thing—pack up and get moved while Ryan already started working in Texas, I swore that would never happen again—so here I was just one year later…. what in the world was I thinking???

So I drove and crashed at Travis and Cynthia’s house. Wednesday, Cynthia and I got up early so we could make it to my place to put out the trash (which I think was around 12 bags, plus some furniture). Then cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. All I can say is that place looked better than when we moved in and IT WASN’T WORTH IT! I had to meet with the manager so we ran the couple errands that I needed to (sell back extra boxes at Uhaul, returns at the store, drop off a ton at salvation army), grab something to eat (thanks to Cyn reminding me to eat) just in time to make it back for my apt with the manager. Things went well (she was actually amazed at how clean it was—said it was the best she’d ever seen and wondered how long we really lived there—again, it wasn’t worth it—we should have left it less clean and gotten more sleep ☺). But, at least I got my deposit back. We then raced home to beat all the really bad traffic. Ryan’s other brother Brett came by that night to say goodbye and then I went early that next morning to say goodbye to Allison, his wife, and then ran to the airport to catch my flight back to Utah.

Well, this is getting WAY TOO LONG so I will write the next half of my summer on the next post. I had had a great time so far, but was thoroughly exhausted by the time I got on that flight. I was also sad that because I didn’t get back for the week or two I had originally thought I didn’t get to say goodbye to anyone in my ward or anything…. so I am so sorry and I hope that I can keep better in touch now that I am officially in Cali!

Uhhh...yeah, so I guess I should post, right??!!!

So Hello anyone that will come here after TWO MONTHS of NO blogging--well any computer stuff for that matter!! We finally got the internet hooked up on friday. This has been quite the summer for me so I will have to blog about it. Just give me a couple of days! I just wanted to say that yes, we have made it here to California. We are in Walnut Creek and it is beautiful. We have gone to our ward a few times and it seems fine, just really haven't meet anyone yet (which is because I haven't really gone to anything yet...just got to get out of boxes!! I feel like I can't socialize until I can come home to a home you know??!!) Anyway, sorry for being awful about keeping in touch with things but, I guess you all know me and well--Have I EVER been good at emailing??? Please don't answer me on that one okay :)! I know my limitations! Anyway, I will try to write more in the next few days! Love you guys!

KENNEDY'S ANGEL DAY

So here we are again. It is June 14th for the 3rd time for me. I know I have gone through 29 of them but really in my memory there are only 3. Three years ago today, I was holding my daughter for the last time on this earth.

These are the last living pictures that we have of her, taken 2 days before.

These are pictures of her headstone when we got it put in for the first time (on her birthday 2005). I don't know if anyone is interesting on seeing this, some people may think morbid, but for me this is comfort. Since I am not able to be there this year I am glad that I have pictures. And that I will have other things there and people so it won't look forgotten, she will feel missed. You see her playful cat, her conversing with her bird and then on the back it reads...

Dancing, music playing
Eyes bright shining within

Walking, face enchanting
Laughing though her pain

Fighting, now peaceful
Love surrounds her in our arms

Feet forward
Gone for a moment

Angel of mine,
Now she is home.

Thank you everyone, we couldn't have done it without you.

Jane Austen...

Jane Austen has to be my favorite author (though now with Stephenie Meyer pretty much tieing her!!) I just did this quiz on my friends blog and this i who I am:

Take the Quiz here!

You are Elinor Dashwood of Sense & Sensibility! You are practical, circumspect, and discreet. Though you are tremendously sensible and allow your head to rule, you have a deep, emotional side that few people often see.

Any one think this is really me?!

We found a place!!!!

We finally found a place to live!!! Ryan went and saw a place Thurs. night after work and took it on the spot!! It is really perfect for us. It is in Walnut Creek, about a mile from the BART. It is a townhome/duplex thing (attacted at the garage). It has two beds and a loft, all brand new stuff in side and keept up beautifully, and...in our price range amazingly! The owner was totally cool with Ryan and even picked him up from the Bart. The got talking and the guy mentioned that he was practically trying to give a way a car as well. Well, Ryan asked about that right away (since we ARE looking for a car now as well!). So, the guy told Ryan his price and it was below blue book, so Ryan of course asked if we rented the place would he take $1000 off, and the guy said yes!! So talk about a one stop shop!! A place and a car at once and I was so stressed about both of those things!! now I know when we can move (which is the only bad thing, we can't till July, so that means after the wedding), so I can buy plane tickets, decide the rest of the summer...our lives :)!

ANYWAY, that was a HUGE LOAD OF MY SHOULDERS let me tell you! Here's a few pics from our trip and one not so fun one!


Yeah, 'nough said on that last one--that was the beginning of a very long day!

I just wanted to say that really I am so blessed tonight. I found out, within one week, that one of my best friends fathers had passed away suddenly and that on old friend I went to elementary school with and still keep in touch has been diagnosied with multiple sclerosis. I ache for them, pray that they will feel strength, I love them both. We all have been given such trials and sometimes is it so hard to focus on anything else. But I realize that through those trials the blessings shine all the greater when they come, and really they will come.