Kennedy's 5th Angel Day

Yellow

What is the significance of yellow?

I wasn't sure at first...

Yesterday for church I was looking through my closet deciding what to wear. I found a skirt that I love and thought I wanted to wear that. Then I thought it was too warm to wear the sweater on top so I looked for something else. But I didn't feel like anything else and kept coming back to the skirt. So, I wore it...

Today, I was grabbing clothes for Harrison to wear and grabbed a yellow shirt and put it on him without thinking. Then a while later I purposefully found a yellow shirt for me to wear but was sad that I really didn't have any yellow for Mckinley to wear. But as I was changing her diaper she grabbed and outfit that I had recently bought her and she was playing with it and I realized that it was indeed, yellow. So I had her wear it...

Today, when I bought the balloons, I specifically asked for purple, pink, and yellow. We wrote our messages, colored our pictures and let them go tonight. We watched as they climbed higher, the wind blew them forward, and watched and waited until they were gone from sight.

They match the balloons that we released 5 years ago...I walk around at the grave site, I saw all the balloons but I wanted a yellow one, though I didn't know why yet, but I went and waited while they went through all the strings to detach the one yellow one that I wanted, and then added it to the group of pink and purple they gave me to release. I watched and waited as they flew east, over the mountains, till they could be seen no more...

The shirt I wore that day was yellow. The day before I wore the yellow and green skirt that I love, to Kennedy's viewing. The day before that we had driven home to get clothes to wear the rest of the week up at Ryan's parents home. I sat and looked at what I could endure to wear to such a hard thing...and all I came back with was...yellow...but I didn't know why, yet...

And then I realized that a few day's before that (5 years ago today), I held my daughter alive for the last time on this earth, and she was wearing yellow...

And then I realized that yellow is:

Bright, Happy, Brilliant, Illuminated, Intense, Radiant,

Sunny, Light, Aware, Joyful, Golden, Blazing, Spirited,

Intelligent, Strong, Fresh, Brave, Pure

...And that is Kennedy, my Yellow

(Thoughts: Choosing the clothes that we wear is such a simple conscious choice we make everyday, yet unconsciously I was led to Kennedy with my choices. Really, I see choices I make everyday that are colored with her, with my experiences with her. I think about her, I talk about her--sometimes I think I talk about her too much--but then I realize that she is just as alive as my other two, I just don't get to see her, and I talk about the other two so much, that it really is Kennedy's turn. But I wonder how many choices unconsciouly are made because she is close. Because I can feel, her yet consciously I don't realized it...yet? How fitting is was that the last scripture tonight that I read for my normal scripture study was this,

"But little children are holy, being sanctified through the atonemant of Jesus Christ;..." D&C 74:7