Easter

Since I am again so behind in blogging, we had a wonderful peaceful Easter. Some Easter pics in random order...

Mckinley is sad that the candy is out of the egg and it isn't closed perfectly

Enjoying the candy and sharing with Daddy

Decorating the eggs...though since *somebody* didn't read the directions its amazing the color actually stayed on the eggs...

A few pics trying to get a good shot of them dressed for church...not great but their still pretty cute kids if I do say so myself!

We live right by a park so we walked down to join in for the whole 5 minutes that the kids found candy. It was great for little kids though because all they did was set off a huge circle and through candy all over the grass. Then when the time came the kids ran and grabbed as much as they could!! It was fun and Mckinley actually got some candy!

Kennedy's six angel day

Oh dear, I have again neglected this blog and will need to catch up again. I really don't know what to do with myself sometimes. I don't know how other's do all that they do but I realize that I am just not that talented or driven sometimes. I get lost and caught up with things...and really half the time I can't even tell what those things were. I really shouldn't be admitting all my shortcoming but its pretty apparent!

Today has been another day of mixed feelings and at the end of the day i wonder how the day has passed. I started the day in not a good mood and was then happily suprised when Ryan ran to the store before work to get balloons so we could do our ballon release before he went on his flight. The kids were so excited and they drew their pictures and we wrote our letters and on the balcony we went. It was a gorgeous sunny morning with no clouds in the sky. We let our balloons go and watched them as they went higher and higher and they were still crystal clear straight up in the sky. When we could see them no more Harrison asked if Heavenly Father had received them now. I hope so.

I received some calls from family and friends, wishing me well, knowing what a day it was. Later on I found on my door step some delicious cupcakes (which are almost all gone, eaten mostly by me I might add) from a dear friend in my ward (who I vt but I find she does more for me then I seem to end up doing for her!) remembering my little Kennedy, whom she never has met. Thank you.

While Mckinley slept I looked at pictures of Kennedy with Harrison and went through some things in her chest that I have here with me. I watched Harrison play with some of the toys and I still cringe slightly but I did enjoy that he and Mckinley when she woke were able to enjoy some of the things that Kennedy did. Later on we watched some little videos of Kennedy that the kids had never seen and that I hadnt' watched for a long time. Too long.

All of this made me sad but not in the way that it used to. I look at the pictures and I have forgotten little things. I listen to her laughing and have to stop to remember that sound. I pick up her toys and try to remember all that she did with it, realizing how young she was when she left. How little of life she knew. It has been six years since I have held her, which seems like a relatively short time but at the same time a lifetime ago. I was always scared of time. Time taking away my memories, my feelings, changing me. But time has come and gone, and is still here. So, I am not sad for her, but even in saying that I feel guilty sometimes. I am sad for what was and sad that I can smile now when I feel like I should just be sad. But I do know that that is not right. I am so happy for her.

I turned on some music later and I danced with the kids and smiled and thought that I need to do this more often. I used to. As I've grown I have become more selfish of my time when it should have been the other way around. The time was slipping away and the kids were put in bed. And again I look back on the day and the impatience, the love, the joy, the sadness, the frustrations, the laughter, the anger, the selfishness, the peace that I felt. So many mixed up emotions in a 24 hour day, it really could have been any day. But it wasn't. It was Kennedy's sixth angel day and she was my amazing little girl and someday I am going to know the person that she will become and she will remember the person that I am, good and bad, and I can't wait!

ER

So our memorial day weekend didn't end like it was supposed to but I guess that things never do go that way. Harrison came down with a fever and a painful ear on Friday. I took him in and the doctor gave him a zpack. I tried to give it too him a couple times but he ended up throwing it up both times so I gave up. I was supposed to take him back in Sat. for a shot of antibiotics but he seemed better and his ear didn't hurt so I waited. Then Sunday he woke up not doing well. I finally made him choke down (literally) some ibuprofen. He was hanging in there but that night just kept getting worse. That night I took his temp. and he was at 104. He begged and cried not to take any medicine so I was too tired to fight him and told him if he went right to sleep I would take it again in two hours.

Well after 2 hours I took her temp and it was 106.1...I PANICKED!!!! So I took it multiple times and it ended up averaging 105.5, which is still NOT GOOD. I called the nurse and she told me to go to the ER since it was 10 something at night. So I made him choke down some ibuprofen and drove him to the ER. I was so grateful that Ryan was home that night so I could let Mckinley sleep.

When we got there and got checked out his temp had come down to 103 after the ibuprofen I'd given him so they gave him some Tylenol right away to see if it would drop some more. Anyway, 5 hours later Harrison's fever had broke, his bed was covered in sweat, he had an IV and had had some blood culture's and blood tests done (that looked fine), some ear drops and some IV antibiotics. They sent us home with some prescriptions for ear drop and more antibiotics.

The next morning (well a few hours later when I could drag myself out of bed) I called the doctor again and said there was NO WAY he was going to be able to take the new antibiotic ( 1 tsp 4 times a day) when he would throw up 1ml of the other med. So I took him into yet ANOTHER doctor to see how he was. I had given him ibuprofen to take away the little bit of fever that had come back. So when we went to the doctor he was acting fine, ear looked fine, temp was fine, everything was FINE! So he said I didn't have give him the antibiotic if I didn't want to and he thought that he never really had an ear infection to begin with, that it was just his allergies causing pressure in his ear and that the fever was just a nasty virus. Don't you just LOVE the whole medical institution (sorry Dad, not you)? In fact I was starting to get a panic attach just sitting in the ER waiting for the doctor! UGH!

Mckinley turned 2

I can't believe my little girl is 2!! She doesn't talk a lot so she still seems so young to me even though she is definitely acting 2! We celebrated it a couple times. Grandma was out here to watch the kids for our trip so we had our little family party the last night she was here.




Tried the ice cream cake but was't too impressed.

She opened up Grandma and Grandpa's gifts...so spoiled :)!!

One of her bday outfits from Grandma! She wore this on her bday and looked adorable!! A little ballerina!

Harrison always lending a hand

She opened our gifts and a couple more from Grandma and Grandpa.

pushing all her goodies around

The next weekend we had a couple families come that had kids just mckinley's age to eat a few cupcakes...

Mckinley was definitely a fan of the cupcakes!!

What is Mckinley like? She is very expressive. In public is very observant. She will sit there with wide eyes and watch all that is going on before she decided to take part. But when she is comfortable and at home she doesn't say much but gets her point across with her funny expressions, cutest cheesy smile (which I really need to get on camera!), actions, signing (man, what would we do without signing in our family...) and the occasional (ahem...) temper tantrum.

She LOVES animals and lucy/any dog/animal are her best friends. She loves loves LOVES her big brother and is constantly following him around and playing with him and his friends...she is very lucky to have such a loving and kind big brother. She loves to make funny expressions in the mirror at herself, loves to eat (chicken nuggets being the fav right now, and would eat them all day if I'd let her). She loves her Daddy but when he "threatens" her that he will put her to bed she runs to me yelling No No No and won't leave my side (we really don't know what the deal with that is...she usually does great when he puts her to sleep!). She loves to color, and I find little drawings of hers on all available (and non available paper) as well as a few choice spots on the wall. Luckily the wall has been done with pencil and washable markers!!! She also is a tease...so we'll see if she takes after Ryan in that way or not! We love our little girl and are so grateful she was sent to our family!

***addition: her heart echo this summer went wonderful! She doesn't have to go back for 8 months now! Her heart is growing normally and she is handling the mixing of blood just fine so we keep on and hope her next surgery isn't for many more years!!

Hair

One last thing from Christmas time...I cut my hair....What do you think?

Bora Bora,Tahiti

One quarter at work Ryan was awarded a trip because of some of the projects that he had completed for the company! Though it didn't make up for all the many hours of overtime that he does, it ended up being quite a nice little perk!! They would pay for plane and hotel up to so much so we decided to go someplace that we would typically never go to, that was expensive. I wanted a beach and Ryan had to scubadive...So Bora Bora, French Polynesia it was!! My mom flew out to watch the kids...and off we went!

I actually had a hard time leaving the kids as the BART took me to the airport...but I definitely needed a break...we actually haven't gone on a trip together alone since our honeymoon (and this year will be our 12 anniversary...so it was about time). Even just getting on the plane without having to worry about diapers/toys/games/extra clothes...not having to undress and redress the kids a security...it was all pretty weird to me. I actually got to sit down and read! (I almost finished a book by the time we got to Bora Bora!) We flew through the night and got their Wed.

This was the airport, one runway and only boats to pick us up.

The island in the middle of the lagoon.

We stayed on a little private island in the over water bungalows. This was the second night, a full moon and it was gorgeous on the water, the water even at night was so crystal clear it was amazing.

The hotel restaurant...so the bad part about the trip was the price of everything! The food wasn't so great and SO expensive!!!

One night we saw the dancers dance some of their native moves...

One day we decided to walk on the one road that goes around the island. We saw this beach and just relaxed...it was so weird to just be able to do that!

I thought taking pics of kids was tough but we were 0 for 3 here...my eyes were closed, ryan's were closed and then he wasn't looking at the camera! What do you do??

One of the beaches at our hotel. It was so nice because really it's rainy season there and it only sprinkled for 10 minutes twice I think (at least during the day), and NO ONE was there!!

This is the lookout from the island we stayed on. The gorgeous part was really the water. I can't tell you how many different colors of blue there was!

Our bungalow (forth from the end)

off our balcony, we would lay around and read here, also there was a little bit of coral so we got our snorkeling stuff and there were stairs that led us into the water off our little bungalow.

One day we went on a hike with a guide and had a great time. He was hilarious and told us all of the history which was really interesting. Showed us all the fruit that grows there, the hidden farms on the Mountain that no one goes to anymore because they are "forbidden", and a temple that is hundreds of years old.

a piece of the temple covered in vines.

the rock that he found that is where they would have sacred ceremonies and tatoo their history on themselves.

the rock "god" that was watching over the king while he was in purgatory, in lotus position.

the second (the oldest being the redwoods here in Ca) oldest tree in the world, the Banyon tree. This where the king is buried

Pineapple farm

The view

Another day we rented a little boat that we put putted around in the Lagoon. Bora Bora is set up with an Island in the middle and then a very shallow lagoon surounding most of it and then a reef where the ocean waves crash and then the deep ocean starts. There is only one place to enter by boat in the reef with is the one deep place in the lagoon, which is where submarines entered during WWII. So this means that you can walk out for a couple miles and the water only reaches your chest...crystal clear water the whole way, a few pieces of coral here and there.

You can kind of see the wave crashing in this picture in the distance.

Beautiful beaches, stunning water...

we took a canoe to the other side of the little island we stayed on to do some snorkeling

the walkway for the hotel we stayed at

some fish and a little shark if you look closely, is towards that top but has the same coloring of the fish. He was there everyday so Ryan always had to check to make sure the shark was doing well...

another little beach at our hotel...and this is really what we did most, lay around and read and relax!!