My 6th Birthday

Happy Heavenly Birthday Kennedy Dear,

Happy days are yours the whole year through.

If we had a wish then it would be,

to spend those days together as a Family.

HAPPY 6TH BIRTHDAY KENNEDY!

A few things we did in between trips this summer

Here's a few pics from some places around here that we have gone to:

Oakland Zoo

Loved the expression

Zoe and Harrison were bats :)

they are the same age and have such cute smiles

he LOVES motorcycles...

Tilden Park (Berkley) (not sure I spelt it right!) It was fun but SO cold that day! I forgot that we lived in east bay and on the other side of the mountain it is cold during the summer. They had a petting farm place but I had to nurse Mckinley so another mom walked around with Harrison wearing their beach towel for warmth! Then they had a really cool steam engine that we road when it was finally starting to warm up.

Harrison and Kate...we usually put all his balls in there but they discovered it could be a great toddler straight jacket..who knew?

they were being water snakes! this was at a really fun water park in Antioch. it had all kinds of pools and a couple toddler ones and a slide...Harrison had a blast!

some of the cute moms/kids that went

chilling at our pool

Jacob and Harrison were in their own little world...it was so fun to watch them laughing at each other!

This was Discovery Museum in Sausilito right above the golden gate bridge and the kids loved it. This is Harrison mid-leap...he loves to jump (and anyone that knows him see's him jump constantly!) so these lilly pads were on a 'water' bed thing and he jumped and jumped and jumps "like a froggy!!"

Jacob and Harrison were "on tv" and playing sharks

forgot...

okay, sorry but I pushed post and realized I was going to say one more thing! I got to see a few of you while I was in Utah but not everyone so I was so sad! Because most the time I was sitting around with the family everyday, waiting to see when they could fit me into the office! Most of you live down south which complicated it! So next time I'm in Utah i hope to be able to see more of you!! Miss you all!

how a 1 1/2 week trip to Utah turns to over a month...

So we drove to Utah one Sunday night ( getting there at 6:00am) planning to stay for a week and a half. My only crown I had in my mouth broke and Ryan's dad is a dentist so...ROADTRIP to see the fam and get some great priced dental work :0! (famous last words!) So I go in and do the crown prep and have to wait for over a week for the new one to come back so I go in on that next monday to get my teeth cleaned. WELLLL... I ended up with...

3 crowns + 2 root canals + 2 posts + 1 filling + 1 cleaning =
9 dental visits + $$ + 1 extremely patient father-in-law + 1 very very sore jaw + 1 month long stay in Utah

So what do you while each day you are waiting for a cancelation to get in to fix your crazy teeth? (it turns out that since I grind my teeth at night and then have to go without dairy for the first year because it bothers all my kids tummies when I nurse them...I cracked my teeth! So I needed a lot of work!) Here are a few pics!

steal toys from your youngest cousin...all us girls in Ry's fam had kids this year within 5 months! So Mckinley has one girl cousin and 2 boys within a couple months age and it was so fun to meet them and play...I can't wait till they are bigger!

Mckinley and the boys (to bad she didn't get all that great hair!)

The girls :)

Harrison cousin his age who he played with for 2 weeks and still misses her!

you have to visit the Hoggle (sp?) zoo, we went with the cousins and a friend met us up there another day, it was hot but so much fun!

Discovery Gateway at the gateway

might as well start early in making them pay gas with you so they are used to it when they are 16 !

Some friends drove up from prove and met us there, it was a really great place! I couldn't get Harrison to leave!

a few greats to visit!

Mckinley wasn't quite sure about this great I guess--I love her frowns--they are so adorable!

Harrison's first real hike!! It was so much fun and beautiful!

Harrison was such a trooper on the way up, we were very impressed (we didn't realize just how much of a hike it was...we ended up accidently going on a shortcut that literally went straight up the mountain!) But by the time we needed to go he was getting a little slow so we took turns carrying him. (you know I guess this is why my back hurts sometimes :)!)

my boys are so cute!

fireworks on the 4th and 24th

And Mckinley discovered two very fun and convenient toys...her feet! She LOVES them!

enough for now :)!

shattered...

Strange name for a post but that is really how I felt for a moment today...

[postnote.. I wasn't going to publish this after i wrote it because I feel so much better, but i spent time writing it so you can skip it if you want to, this is a journal for me...]

Mckinley has been doing so well, has started rolling all around the place this past week, is 5 months now and just seeming like a normal baby! We had another heart apt. this afternoon and I wasn't really that nervous for because she has just done so well. We got there unrushed at the perfect time. Harrison as roaring at her and making her laugh really hard in the waiting room, making her get the hiccups, and making my mouth turn up as well feeling so happy with my two little ones. She was then weighed and measured, my cute chubby 14 pounder had gained 2 pounds :)!

We then went into have her echo done and I sat Harrison down, we wrapped up Mckinley so she couldn't move her arms while the tech started the echo. Harrison was playing with one of their toys and I gave him a fruit by the foot to keep him happy/busy while I focused on singing Mckinley Old McDonald and keeping her happy. Everything was going well...when the tech said, "okay, lets leave her there I am just going to get the cardiologist real fast to check something..."

that sinking feeling

********FLASHBACK*******

~October 26, 2004, tues night, nearing 1am in the morning, Ryan and I standing next to Kennedy while she is strapped to the CT scan and the tech comes out and says to the nurse, "Why don't you come in here for a minute, [to us] why don't you wait here for a moment..."

that sinking feeling

moments later (or was it years) we were waiting in Kennedy's room, the doctor came in and said, "why don't you come with me to another room...(we follow along)..."...we found a tumor in her brain..."

that sinking feeling

~May 30, 2005, we were waiting next to Kennedy as she lay in her bed at the hospital after her MRI, the doctor came in...the doctor never comes in, its always the nurse...he brings us into his office and shows us the MRI and points out ALL the tumors, going throughout her brain, going down her spine...

that sinking feeling

~October 2008, Ryan and I are sitting watching our new little one swim around inside me on the screen, we are not finding out what we are having this time, we want it to be a surprise. I have them make sure the brain is there and there are arms and legs and a spine...things are taking longer, the tech says, "I just can't get a good look the head and the heart, I am going to go get the doctor..."

that sinking feeling

the doctor comes in and find a problem with the heart, we are sent to the specialist and find she will need surgery, BUT she will be okay.

All these thoughts went through my head today as now the doctor is rechecking and double checking and now Harrison is crying because they took the toy away because he dropped it twice, Mckinley is screaming and nothing is helping, while I'm praying that everything will be fine, I am panicking (internally of course) and trying to decifer what the doctor and tech are talking about, while I'm thinking of these things as well as how I must have not been doing all that I am supposed to be doing, how now the miracle of her health has been taken away and as I look into her eyes I think, "...I could loose you..." and for a moment I almost broke.

But then the doctor pulled us in the room and said that everything was okay! I said well what was the problem in there? what were you trying to find? he said that the tech got some numbers that they didn't like and they found what they needed. There is a spot that they are watching because it might potentionally need surgery earlier but at this point it is okay and looks fine, we just need to keep watching.

ahhhhh, relief!! WHY could they not have just said that in the room instead of sitting there worrying over something and panicking their patients mommy ???!! Anyway, after all my drama that probably lasted only 15 minutes I was spent, but EXTREMELY greatful that it looks fine.

So I got in the car and I needed to keep my mind off of the whole incident so I turn on some music and the first song that I hear (is kind of ironic becasue it's actually on my blogs playlist) is the chorus to Shattered, "...How many times can I break before I shatter..." and that is exactly how I felt at that moment in there...so much for forgetting about it...so I put my sunglasses on while I drove home (and it wasn't because it was sunny ouside).

Thanks for letting me vent...I needed it! But I am better and she is okay!! and we don't have to go in for 4 months :)!!

3 Parties for my 3 year old...

His first party was when my family flew out here for Mckinley's blessing...we swam, opened presants and had a soccer cake and ice cream!

His next party was his friends party. He wanted an ORANGE DINO party, which is so funny, since he didn't like dinosaurs...though now he does! He had so much fun!!

We first found dino eggs in the yard (sand covered the dinos and they then washed off the egg in water...

they then searched for fossils in the sand boxes...

Then his ORANGE DINO cake and ice cream...

opening presants (thanks everyone, he loves them!)...



Chris was pulling them around in the wagon...

And you can't forget the bikes and running races!! He LOVED playing with his friends!!

And last was his birthday part in Utah shared with his cousin Jordan and Ryan's family!


He loved every minute and loves being a Big 3 year old!